RE-JEW-VINATION

With Chanukah upon us, and since the world has finally come to realize that it is trendy and fashionable to be Jewish, I have hereby proposed the birth of the World's first: RE-JEW-VINATION

 

For a mere $400 (for you $395) you will be given a:

JEW-BALEE, where there will be loads of JEW-BALATION.

JEW-BALEE'S will only be held in the months of JEWNE and JEWLY.

First born girls will be named JEWDY and JEWLIE.

Firstborn boys will be named JEWLUS or JEWORGE.

Disrespectful or law breaking JEWVINILES will not be named but instead, sent to JEWVY.

First thing in the morning you should drink JEWICE. On hot afternoons and at sporting events you should drink the national beer HEEB-BREW and nosh on some GEFILTE SUSHI at BENAY HANA.  All photos taken at RE-JEW-VINATION events shall be processed exclusively at JEWISH AMERICAN PRINTS. So when you send your $397.50 along with your picture and a self addressed stamped envelope, and you are certain that JEW-BELIEVE,…. you will be certified and fully RE-JEW-VINATED!!